What Does and Doesn’t Work When Online Dating

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By and large, online dating websites follow the same pattern that traditional dating methods do when you’re courting. First, you catch each other’s attention, then you start speaking and maybe, just maybe, something special will come out of it.

Nevertheless, if you’re new to online dating you might feel like you’re adrift in a sea of rules and conventions you’re not familiar with. Well, the first step to becoming an expert is being a novice, and in this guide we’re going to share with you some things that do work when online dating, and some things that don’t.

What works?

  • Honesty. First and foremost, honestly is paramount to the success of your online dating experience. Not all of us love who we are, but lying about it serves nobody’s interests. You’ll end up servicing the lies, all of which will be revealed in time.
  • Taking an interest. Everyone likes to feel interesting, so take the time to ask questions about the life of the person you’re talking to. Online dating is, first and foremost, about conversation, so take an interest in what interests them and watch as the conversation flows.
  • Humour. Being funny isn’t something you can learn, but all of us are capable of lightening the mood a little bit from time to time. Taking yourself absolutely seriously on an online dating platform might well boost your ego, but it’s a little impenetrable for others to get into.
  • An open mind. Asked to describe their ideal partner, most people would create a long, highly specific list. However, if there’s one thing we learn from life it’s that it’s those we don’t expect that really capture our heart. Chemistry is a mysterious thing, so when you’re online dating keep an open mind – you never know who’ll win your heart.

What doesn’t work?

  • Front-loaded baggage. Each of us has a whole host of stories about how we got to where we are, but when you’re exchanging those opening missives, try not to get too bogged down in your history. It might be cathartic for you to get out into the open, but for a potential date it can feel tough to handle, and could be a major turn off.
  • Bad grammar. Sound silly? Well it isn’t. Studies have shown that more than anything else online, bad grammar is the biggest turn off of all – for both men and women. So before you fire off that message, double check that your spelling and grammar are where they should be.
  • Being pushy. So you think things are going great in a chat and you want to go out on a date? Fantastic! If you’re getting signals that the person on the other end isn’t at that point yet, don’t be pushy about it. Equally, if you’ve been rejected, don’t keep returning to that well.